It was a Friday afternoon when I was in this really dark and confusing point in my life. I felt discouraged. I was losing so much of my faith in myself, my future, people I had trusted, and God. How could life be going so smoothly one moment and the next, the wind is knocked out of you and everything you thought you knew was all for nothing. Regardless, I took a seat in the booth of that small café, the aroma of coffee filling the air and the chatter of small town people surrounding me. My professor, whom I had been working years on research with, sat in the seat across from me. We sat together and went over the discussion section of our manuscript. Finally, after determining our next steps, she closed her laptop and looked me in the eyes and asked me, “How’s life?” Not one to easily hide my emotions, I told her about my frustrations. I told her about how I felt defeated after working so hard in school and work and still hadn’t heard back from my number one internship choice. I told her how it is discouraging to have put so much energy in that aspect of my life and not see the results. As I finished voicing my concerns, she calmly said “You know one of the things I think you need to remember and keep with you is this:
After we had packed up our things and parted, I thought about what she had told me long after leaving the confines of that cafe. Sometimes life throws all sorts of curve balls our way. In fact, I’m often left asking myself “What did I do to deserve this?” Life is discouraging, isn’t it? We put energy into our work only to watch someone else get credit. We invest time in relationships only to discover that we were used all along—never good enough. We put down our guard to love another and discover that they will never love you in return. To put it bluntly: life is hard. It really is. We make all kinds of happy, perfect plans for our lives. How do we not? But life never turns out the way we plan. While it doesn’t necessarily take away the hurt or lessen the pain, I do think it is so important to remember that God’s plan is so much greater and grandeur than we can ever imagine. Even through the pain and suffering, He is molding us into the people we are meant to be.
I may not end up where I thought I will be in this life. But I do have faith that I will end up exactly where I am meant to be.