On this particular day, I was reflecting on some words from my daily devotional that I had read that morning. The Jesus Calling text for that day read:
"You will never be in control of your life circumstances, but you can relax and trust in My control. Instead of striving for a predictable, safe lifestyle, seek to know Me in greater depth and breadth. I long to make your life a glorious adventure, but you must stop clinging to old ways. I am always doing something new within My beloved ones. Be on the lookout for all that I have prepared for you."I read that text and grinned and thought to myself, "God, you always know just what to say..." What a guy!
Lately, I can't quite pinpoint the word to describe my state of being...impatient...contemplating...unsure....conflicted...
Those are a couple words that come to mind. Those of you who follow me on Pinterest or Twitter have probably noticed that I have been thinking an awful lot about travel. A lot! I keep asking myself where I want to go on my next big journey and how I am going to tackle all of these things on my bucket list. Then in the same breath, I am wondering how I can make these dreams possible when I am supposed to be making a living using my degree within the States.
As all of these thoughts and questions were weighing on my heart, I came across a tweet from one of my RD "friends" speaking of employment opportunities with the Children's Nutrition Program of Haiti. I think my heart actually sunk a little as I opened that link and learned more and more about the opportunity. It. Is. INCREDIBLE! Unfortunately, it doesn't exactly mesh well with my commitments at the Illinois State University dietetic internship.
I am in a season of waiting. Waiting for my internship to start. Waiting to discover what the rest of my life holds. Waiting to understand what exactly God has in store for me. For the longest time, I thought that I was meant to be a registered dietitian who opens a private practice and focuses on weight loss counseling. While those are still passions of mine, I am starting to wonder if perhaps God wants to use my background in nutrition to help out in third world countries or in some other area.
In Psalm 46:10, God tells us
"Be still and know that I am God."Simple, yet powerful words. I think one of the most difficult parts of being confused about your future is feeling a bit helpless. We, as humans, want to try and actively figure things out and have a predictable path ahead. Yet sometimes, we need only to be still.
While I am not entirely sure how God will be using my gifts, I am working on finding a state of patience in my life where I can enjoy the ride and trust in God's plan for the road ahead...no matter how winding it may be!